These Life Lessons Made Me Realize What Money Really Is

Why you need to live life to the fullest to find out what money means to you

 

Imagine a pawnshop for life experiences. You need cash, bring your life lesson and now you can pay your debt. You won’t get back that specific life experience you traded. Would you do it?

You probably have memories and experiences that are priceless, would you trade them for a million?

Let’s put it this way. When you are lost in the desert and you can choose between a kilo of gold and a litre of water: which do you choose?

I guess your choice is water.

Money is relative in certain circumstances and many life experiences can’t be expressed in money. On the other hand, when your life is full of rich experiences, that doesn’t automatically mean your bank account is full too.

My experience in life is that in order to have many enriching life experiences, I needed to let go of my bag of money. The stuff I accumulated over the years.

 

Life is a bunch of circumstances that makes you let go of things that become too heavy to enjoy a light travel.

I am now 53 and when I look back at my life I see myself accumulating stuff, experiences, money, and friends in the first part up ’til 40. The last 13 years have all been about the often painful process of letting go of exactly the same things I did so much work and effort to assemble. Happily, my life lessons remained. They are my true gold.

“So what’s the point?” I hear you ask.

Wait, there is more to it. Already at a young age, I had experiences that made me question everything. Still, I needed to be in the money game and become successful.

These life experiences and lessons made me discover the real value of money.


Death

When death happens early to you, it will mark you for the rest of your life. I don’t mean your specific death since it would be game over. No, the death of a dear close family or a beloved one.

I lost my mother from cancer when I was 31 after a process of 15 years. It told me so much about life. It cleared most of the unhealthy patterns we had in our family.

Death is the only profound experience that can teach you what life is really all about.

 

It was a process of purification and looking to the existential stuff out there. No more time for bullshit when you have a few days more to live.

This intensity before a loved one dies, that sacred space of heart connection and being human is an amazing gift. My mother gave me that gift: to feel life deeper and more sacred than ever before

After these experiences I still wanted to succeed in my work, make good money and build my reputation. The presence of death, however, had given me the assurance that it can fall away one day.

Everything you have built up your entire life can fall away in an instant and death taught me that what you will find in that space of loss is priceless.

It made me less afraid to lose everything because I knew it would not be the end of it. Merely a beginning.


Addiction

I wasn’t afraid to lose everything since I had experienced that life is the biggest gift and losing is not the end but more often the beginning of unexpected journeys.

I took this quite literally.

After my mother died I got introduced to the world of casinos and gambling through a friend and I start practising losing everything. I did lose everything, many times.

Life had hit me hard. I closed my heart to avoid more pain. Sadly this way I isolated myself from real love and nurturing relationships.

Gambling became a substitute, a place where dopamine kept me alive when all I needed was allowing myself to open my heart again. But I couldn’t.

The heart has its own mysterious ways and there is beauty and grace in suffering too.

Some I drank seven whiskeys at home, walked to the casino, lost thousands of bucks, but felt alive. The next morning was a different experience, more like an elephant of guilt, blame and shame stamping on my head.

When you are standing with your back against your empty bank account, you start to appreciate the things you always took for granted.

Real friendship, family, your health, the fact that you have a job…

I won once in a while too. In the drunk aftermath, it was not unusual to visit a hooker or call a girl. Yes, that one, the one you call.

A lonely attempt to get my heart filled when my glass, heart, and wallet was empty.

It took me about 10 years, I lost about $100.000, and had a lot of dollar coaster moments in the casino that I never will forget. From people desperately asking me if I wanted to buy their wallet five minutes before closing to $500 sticking out of the ATM machine inside the casino, people had forgotten to take the money with them. The Chinese or Russian mob playing $100k at the time without blinking an eye.

Everybody that gambles has their reason and their pain. I never forget the conspiring atmosphere between the green tables, the buzzing of the wins and loses against all odds and hope dying out like the smoke of a cigarette on a wet street at the outskirts of life.

It taught me the essence of money.

Money is life energy, it is love, it is everything and nothing and you will always get some more even when you just lost everything.

But you do need to work for it. A casino is no shortcut to money neither to real life. It takes both away from you.

Read here how I eventually got rid of that addiction

Love

I finally managed to open my heart again after countless relationships with the most beautiful women on earth whom I met through my passion: the Argentinian Tango.

tangopics

There was potential true love in there, and I always gave my all. But that didn’t make me attach completely to these artsy, crazy, wonderful creatures. I believed I attracted the women that had the same problem, often the same pain. They stayed at a distance even when our bodies would press hard against each other in a firm embrace on the dance floor of life.

They would angle me in with their sensual amazing bodies and let me play around for a while.

    And then, all of a sudden they would throw me out, drown me in their undercurrents of toxic purple rain, their pain, the unresolved trauma’s. We would mutually drown in drama, waving at each other from a sinking titanic, our love hitting the iceberg of our cold hearts.

Yes, it was passionate, it was sensual and sexual, but it was still not nurturing.

Until I was ready. Until I did the work, released the pain, opened my heart really and fully. Only then I was ready to meet my real-life partner.

My soul mate, my friend till the end. The wise counterpart that forgave me my sins even before I would make them. I can tell you, unconditional love beats them all. It makes you forgive yourself, it makes you not make a mistake because you don’t need that pattern anymore to kick yourself in the balls later.

It made me let go of my shame, blame and guilt play. She is the perfect mirror and she made me grow beyond I could ever imagine.

And money?

She made me realize forever and ever that love, real love always beats money. The real love in your heart. Money can cover up the lack of your connection to that love. Money can cover up that dark hole of pain cut in your soul.

The more you are able to fill that black hole of the absence of love in your life, the less and less important money will become for you.

Lucien Lecarme


This blog was originally posted on Medium, read it here >>

Your Abundance Practice Isn’t Working Out - This is Why

Learn about this key element for attracting anything you want more of in your life


In 2007 somebody gifted me the Secret. It changed my life. But only years later.

I am talking about the abundance self-help book, introducing the law of attraction in the new age community. That magic law must be as old as the universe itself, but through The Secret becoming a bestseller, millions of people tapped into the world of unlimited possibilities again. Including me.

This is what happened.

I made my first vision board around 2008, putting a picture of a villa with full sea view in the middle. I practised gratefulness for receiving that new house and other things on the vision board for at least half a year, and then kind of forgot about it.

In 2010, I discovered Ibiza. I sat on a cliff in the first-morning dew and made a sunrise panorama photo of Es Vedra, the magnetic Rock in the South East of this paradise clubbing Island.

I printed and installed the photo on the wall of my toilet as part of an Ibiza shrine in my house in the Netherlands. This made me look at the photo and the shrine every day, projecting my feeling state in happily living a paradise life in Ibiza while doing a pee.

Fast forward one year.

I’ve found my dream villa, looking over the sea. Not only that, but the same freakin villa is also on the panorama photo I took 2 years earlier. I had been looking at my future paradise shack for a year every day.

W.T.F?. Or better, thank you universe.

And thank you The Secret and the Law of attraction, The 21-day abundance course by Deepak Chopra and many other courses I have been following throughout the years. In their essence they all teach the same:

You can attract anything in your life that your heart desires by raising your vibration, having a clear vision of what you want, align this higher feeling state and gratitude with the universe and it will respond. — In it’s own pace.


The first 2 core elements for success

My own story of manifesting the dream shack contains the 2 core elements that every abundance book will tell you:

  • You’ll need to let go of your wish
  • You need a very clear vision of what you truly want more of.

You might experience too that envisioning what you truly desire isn’t that easy. From the mindfulness retreats, I give on Ibiza I learned that many people experience the same blockage.

It is easier to stay stuck and think about what you don’t want, than actually make a clear wish, intention and vision of what you do love to attract.

After diving deeper in myself, reading more books and following more courses, I believe I’ve found the key for dissolving this difficulty, at least for myself. It did hold me back for years in starting the life I was dreaming of.

I can truly say that I have some beautiful experiences with manifesting important things in my life like the Villa. I also love to remain humbled by knowing that I still can experience a lack of things in my daily life.

Ultimately, abundance is deep within every one of us since nature is abundant, and we are all a part of nature. Most of us forgot how to access and experience their abundance, the birthright for each and every one of us.


What Holds You Back? 

When I ask you: what holds you back in living the epic life that you deserve? limiting beliefs or old conditioning might be the first thing that pops up. But that’s not where I want to go.

Limiting beliefs and old conditioning is the result of a deeper layer inside of yourself that I am about to describe. Becoming aware of your limiting beliefs is not ‘the sole trick’ for becoming more abundant, although very important to acknowledge and let go of as much as you can.

What I’m about to explain is not just a mental obstruction that you can think your way around. It’s deeper than that and often overlooked.

A limiting belief usually expresses itself like: I have adapted this thought that I am too shy to step up that stage and do a talk. Or, I have this thought that I’ll need to work 60 hours a week to even start dreaming about a little more wealth. Or, I have this thought that I am fat and unattractive, I’ll never be able to attract the right man for me.

As you notice, these are thoughts, assumptions. When you repeat them enough subconsciously, they appear to be you. To transform your limiting beliefs means becoming aware of these thoughts, and then disconnect them from being you. They are just thoughts, coming from past experiences, past imprints.

Many Abundance books will stimulate you to get aware of these thought patterns and urge you to let them go or think your way around them with positive affirmations. The money will flow to me effortlessly, I am worthy to stand on stage and let my voice speak, I have a great body. Thoughts like that.

Now let’s dive one level deeper beyond letting go of thoughts and positive affirmations. We need to go to the core of the matter.

affirmations

 


The Core of the matter: The Thing That Many Overlook

When you’ll feel into this core, when you start having access to it, it will all become much clearer.

The issue with positive affirmations is that they work great on a certain level, but when you are still unaware of deeper layers of not being worthy of experiences, joy, beauty, a deep relationship, then you are prone to fall back into repetitive patterns and you subconsciously keep limiting yourself beyond your thoughts.

What is this layer that is not made conscious in most of us?

It is a layer that can go back as far as when you where 1,2,3 years old, and it’s called your core unworthiness.

It works like this: As a baby, you pick up the energetic communication of your parents. The world, the universe, is all about you. Me and the other doesn’t exist yet. You are the universe. So when your parents argue, or worse, that’s your universe. When your father shouts at his boss on the phone and you happen to be near, that’s your universe. As a baby, you take on the toxicity of the world around you. This makes you feel bad, you are bad, it’s now your energy, you were not able to discern toxicity having nothing to do with you, since in the core of your baby being you are pure joy, bliss, abundant life.

Do we really have to dive that deep? Yes, I am afraid so.

Spoiler Alert: There is also a second layer of core unworthiness.

When we grow older, we create this second layer of unworthiness to prevent feeling the first one. This is the space where your limiting beliefs come from.

It is much safer to play small than opening up fully to life and joy with the risk of not receiving, because that was your initial imprint


The solution(for now)

The deepest layer of core unworthiness stays around for most people’s lives. This doesn’t mean, however, that you can’t access it.

You can do so by opening up more, by becoming more vulnerable, and actually feel into what’s keeping you from getting in touch with it. That’s the first step.

What keeps you from feeling deeper, in general, is your pain. When we dive deeper into pain, it is nothing more or less than the resistance you have for feeling deeper.

Use your pain to guide you to more consciousness.

Pain functions as a Swiss security lock for your psyche and soul not to be exposed to too much trauma at once.

How to feel deeper? By opening up more. Step by step. To train your awareness muscle of what actually goes on inside of you, how you feel, what you think, the sensations in your body when you close or open, when you are in your flow and connect to your joy. This is referred to as tracking.

In essence, it’s that simple. But at the same time, incredible difficult knowing that many closed their deeper layers most of their lives. When you open up to feeling more joy, for example, you also open up to feel emotions that we often label as negative. But they are not. They are just expressions of one and the same: your life-force energy. It’s just about feeling this energy, allowing it, and not make anything wrong in yourself

Resistance for feeling deeper expresses itself in making yourself wrong and putting layers of self blame and shame around your essence. This, essentially, is your pain. 

But hey, do you like to become more abundant or not?

I’m joking.

Every human being has his or her own pace for growth. To deal with trauma and pain is probably the most difficult thing to do in life, it’s way easier to numb ourselves out and move from status quo to status quo avoiding too much insecurity and change. The result is we only feel in the middle range of the possible spectrum, but deep in our hearts, we’ll feel that we are not living the life of our dreams.

I just gave you the direction to look into, an invitation to dive deeper. In fact, diving deeper is what I offer in my abundance courses where we work in a group or with couples. Why?

For going deeper, for letting go of the pain of resistance of feeling your trauma, for accessing your deepest feeling of being worthy, loved, welcome, fully seen, we need the undivided loving attention of others.

 

kiss

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


When you dismantled your limiting beliefs from the second ring of core unworthiness when you have let go of trauma and reached the ground level of being and feeling worthy, this will become part of your heart, essence and awareness.

You now feel worthy. It is in the core of your being. You have now infinite access to it.

This means you don’t have to practice becoming abundant anymore, because you are.

From that state of being, yes, you’ll definitely attract more of what you love, more joy, more nurturing deeper relationships, better health, and why not, more money. What you see and experience outside of yourself is essentially you.

What changed is the ability to open up to all of the juiciness of life, because you are worth it.

Attracting more of what you wish will be effortlessly and often unexpected, but you know that you can trust the universe to be good and abundant.

Just like you.

Lucien Lecarme


Lucien is author of the future novel “The Wisdom Keeper“. Sign up for the Wisdom keeper’s 8-week online abundance course here to accelerate your abundance and freedom awakening towards living a more human and interconnected life together.

Join my Earth Wisdom Earth Wisdom Tribe to receive more inspiration for an awakened abundant life.

How Humility is the Way Out of Our Polarized Society

You can co-create a more beautiful world our hearts know is possible by embracing a new story for humanity

 

‘History tells us, that a value shift is triggered by a new story how we want to live’ — Steward Harris

According to thought leader Charles Eisenstein, the biggest collective myth humanity has found itself in is the story of separation.

I am not you, we are separate from nature, I am a single unit in an indifferent world that makes me compete and survive instead of longing to unite and thrive.

This all starts with a story.

Culture is the answer to the question of what it means to be human. In this sensitive turn-around timeframe, we are finding ourselves in at the moment, our answer to most of our challenges is obtaining more control.

First and foremost our control over nature.

Our story of separation leaves us with a deep unsafety since control comes from the mind and ratio that only can exist per definition in a world of polarity and duality.

The opposite would be following our hearts in full surrender to life, nature and our soul’s journey. The paradigm of current spiritual movements that has his roots in the new age from the eighties.

The story of separation has made ‘the other’ to a threat, something to control, something to rule and conquer like we try to do with nature. Our social media has made it possible to de-humanize our fellow peers with one push on the buttons on our screens.

The root of our polarized world can be found in our story of culture, the story of separation. We have unlearned to include ‘the other’ in our hearts. Instead, we rage wars against nature forgetting that we are an intrinsic beautiful intelligent part of nature.

Go one level deeper and you end with fear.

Nature, that whimsical force out there, can wipe us from its feat in an instant. According to Eisenstein, we have diminished nature to that bunch of stuff out there. Our ‘economic resource’ with the sole function to feed the machinery of mass consumption, our (rather stupid) illusion of infinite economic growth on a finite planet.

Since nature can kill us, we need to go out and battle her. This is at least what our forefathers experienced first hand when they sailed the oceans to conquer more land and drowned in storms when pests and other diseases diminished the world population by a quarter.

Go back a few thousand years further and you find Greek emperors offering their offspring to please the Gods that ruled our ancient world. These Gods were sometimes half human-half nature, like Poseidon, raging thunder and earthquakes, or Zeus hitting humanity with his lightning rage.

We gave nature a human face and made that into our intermediaries with the forces of nature, our first immature manifestation of controlling natures outcome by offerings and giving its force a human face.

Our human evolution has been dictated by conquering nature and our myths and legends are full of hero’s submitting the forces of nature all the way into our science-driven society which sole goal seems to be to copy nature in its desire to become the creator, to become God. The ultimate control.

Will our battle against nature continue forever until there is not more nature left? — or will our story of separation be able to transform in something more wise, more mature, more beautiful and appealing to the heart?

The answer seems and feels simple. Once we accept the fact that we are simply a part of nature, of the mystical magic tapestry of cause and events, when humanity embraces its Karma as being an integrated part of a wider web of knowledge and intelligence, when we finally wake up and embrace a new world from a non-dualistic perspective, than, yes than I see hope at the horizon.

When we place ourselves back into nature, as being an intrinsic part of its laws and wisdom, we automatically become more humble.

When the rivers, the forests and the stars are a part of me, I am ready to begin to feel deep gratitude for even being here. Then magic returns to my world, and I get in touch with my essence, which is divine like nature is divine in its incredibly simple complexity.

When I become nature, my duality dissolves in a profound surrender to life itself. I let the waves of the sea carry me instead of using them to conquer other worlds. Now it is the world within that I lay my ear upon to listen to its old forgotten wisdom, its whispers of sages and Goddesses that rule over creation and life itself, by dissolving and truly understanding the source of it all.

When you become an intrinsic part of me, I regain my basic curiosity in this world. Since now suddenly there are so many I’s around. How can I still lose myself in my polarizing, dehumanizing, fight of the other(s), when I can walk around the earth with a child’s innocence to open up and see what I can learn from all these other I’s that all have a wonderful message and gift for me in my soul journey to become one and complete with all?

The world truly would be an amazing place full of joy, learning, celebration and awe. A more beautiful world our hearts know is possible, as Charles Eisenstein describes it.

His solution for co-creating this paradise on earth, is approaching our current polarized reality from that new paradigm. When it is true that we are already small particles in an interconnected web of beings, we, personally, can align our own story to that truth. That is, at least when you feel that in your heart.

I perceive this as a kind of gentle obstruction of our current story of culture that seems to lead us to destruction, more separation and a technocratic world in where our souls slowly die from the absence of heartfelt connection, replaced by automated tracking, distancing, isolation and more control.

Ask your own heart for a second if it really loves to continue that path? What is your hearts answer? Does that image make your soul sing? And if not, what story would you love to write in the universe of limitless possibilities?

story

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


The answer and part of the solution is to start believing and living and telling an alternative story for humanity, and integrate this story in your own life right here and right now.

This is part of my job, to co-create this more beautiful world with my words. Every.Single.Day. To be an earth wisdom warrior with a light sword of words and stories to crack open our collective consciousness to more love and light.


Because it is our imagination that made Homo Sapiens Thrive millions of years ago on this planet. We have the power to imagine a more beautiful world. We can ask ourselves how that world looks like and an image pops up in our minds.

That image can organize, guide and unite complete tribes, as it did in the past.

And we can start living that image of interconnected beings, merged with nature and in respect and awe for its force and our own life force. You can start living that reality as from today.

We all can walk our talk, and start walking each other home to where are true souls belong. In a more beautiful world our hearts know is possible

It is all around the corner of our imagination. That same imagination that can change in what we believe, that can change our values, that can change our collective myth, that eventually can change our culture, that can change our day to day reality until it has become that story we were brave enough to imagine.

This knowledge truly humbles me, the profound awareness that you are a part of me, cleverly disguised as you. It humbles me to know that I am just a tiny part of nature, and yet being able to feel its grandness thrusting life force through my veins.

This new journey for humanity starts with becoming humble again, humbled to the greatest gift of all, life itself.

Lucien Lecarme

Join my earth wisdom tribe to thrive together


Lucien is author of the future novel “The Wisdom Keeper”. Sign up for the Wisdom keeper’s 8-week online abundance course to accelerate your abundance and freedom awakening towards living a more human and interconnected life together.

When Core Unworthiness Gets in the Way of Your Success

Learn to truly receive what you deserve

Success doesn’t just come and find you. You have to go out and get it.

Do you agree? And what about this one:

Successful people always ask for exactly what they want.

Both statements require that you believe you are worth that success and happiness, and exactly here is where you might get triggered in your core unworthiness.

Do you sometimes struggle with directly asking what you want or when somebody asks you what you desire you experience a black-out?

Changes are big that your core unworthiness is playing out.

In general, happy and successful people seem to master asking exactly what they want. Your definitions of success will be different from mine, but asking for what we want, expressing our needs and desires makes life so much easier. It improves our relationships, brings clarity and avoids nasty things like passionately aggressive revenging our partner without realizing we didn’t ask for what we wanted in the first place.

This piece is about the art of really asking for what you want by looking into the most common blockages you might have in doing so.


Giving and receiving in life

I struggled for the most part of my life in putting myself first. This is because I am highly empathic, I always believed there was virtue in being modest, and I told myself I simply love giving more than receiving. I believe this is what a lot of people do.

This changed recently.

I realized it is not at all that easy for me to truly receive.

Tune into yourself for a moment. Can you truly receive a well-meant compliment, a warm hug, your boss giving thumbs up or your parents suddenly praising you over your career?

Look deep inside and be honest.

When you don’t really know, let’s do a short and easy experiment.

Next time, track how you respond when you get that compliment, reward, hug, praise. Do you say: yeah yeah and turn away? Or do you fully take it in?

With does fully taking in means?

The essence of it is that you feel the energy and love and reward in your heart and the core of your being. It makes you glow deep inside and you experience that fully taking it in makes the giver also happier. It’s a win-win.

You can compare it with a breath you fully take in.

Keep that hug for a moment longer and breathe the love of it in, enjoying it. This is all for you. You deserve it. There is no mind saying; yeah, yeah. yeah.

The yeah, yeah, yeah means — for a lot of people — this: back off, you are coming too close to my pain of not being able to fully love myself.


You are worth it

In the core of each and every one of us, we have our (core) worthiness. Our right to be on this planet, the warm bath when we arrived in our family and were raised with love, or the opposite.

love_worth

Maybe you experienced not enough of this or even a downright unsafe place where you grew up. Maybe you walked away from home. Believe me, most of us, if not everybody, has suffered to some degree from a lack of safety and some kind of traumatic experiences.

This all gets stored in your body and psyche and puts layers of shame and self-blame around the diamond you are. Around your core worthiness

You don’t feel that shining pulsating diamond anymore, and another self-image replaces the hurt that is deep inside. To compensate, you are going to chase success in modern society. But all you are chasing is compliments, love, affection, and confirmation.

Here is the problem: These expressions of love always come from other human beings, not from money or Facebook likes. When you can’t access the place anymore to truly receive that love, the people around you will also cease to give it to you and you might end up trying to fill that big empty hole deep in your soul with addictions or more money.

At the end of that healing process I was able to say: Guess what, I am damn perfect, I rock. I am a loving person with great talents and deserve all the love in the world.

I open my heart to fully receive the infinite love I deserve in this life

Say this sentence a couple of times, how does it feel?

These are called affirmations. They can help you when your core worth feels small at times, or when it flushed down the toilet of your harsh self-judgment.

And hey, it’s OK. We all, every human on this planet, have to deal at some level with this core unworthiness. And our path home is different for all of us too. It is up to you to find the best modality to heal your trauma. They are all around you when you start looking.


Know your value

When you have made contact with your core worthiness, it is time to evaluate what you can do, what your gift is. Where do you bring value to other people?

Maybe you know what your gift is, what you’re good at, but you haven’t found a way yet to bring it to the world, let alone make a decent income out of it.

Stick with me for a moment, you are not alone

Successful people know their value. They generally have a lot of self-confidence.

Research related to confidence and success shows this:

“One thing is certain: every study conducted in the past 50 years on self-confidence and success has proven that the two are at least related. That is, self-confident people are more successful in all areas of life. And successful people have a high level of self-confidence.” — CFNC.ORG

The confident people around us generally don’t doubt to ask a very reasonable price for their service

Since they are worth it, and they know it.

How come?

This starts with the deeper layer of core worthiness first. When they were born, life was throwing firecrackers, garlands and the birthday cake was big, fat and abundant.

Some people have that start. But many haven’t.

Other people fight. They learn from each defeat, each rejection. It shapes their character and molds their modesty. From all that sweat and blood they can really value the place they worked themselves into.

And some people remain for a long time the victim of what happened to them. They don’t even bother to start the fight since facing the pain related to the trauma is too much to bear for their psyche. That’s all good, nothing to make wrong here.

Life can be a long and winding road to finally finding your deeper treasure, your pile of gold and then you realize it was you all the time running away from it.

0 89G_q_f2v6xs1sxO

Take your time

It took me nearly 30 years to truly embrace the self-love I was worth all along the journey. I just couldn’t fully access it before.

And let me tell you one more thing.

After embracing my full value, scraping every inch of “You got this” from my soul, the true abundance I feel is not in money.

Only in the connection with other open hearts, my deeper core worthiness comes alive and thrives. It is the heartbeat of life deeply pulsating with each blissful beat. In that space, it becomes possible to take in love, touch, care from others with the core of my being.

This all starts with an opening that connection in yourself to your core worthiness. For this, you will need others. It’s not a lonely hero’s journey ‘to make it alone’. It is becoming humble, vulnerable and a search for people where you feel safe with, that can guide you and where you can heal together.

No money or success will ever buy you a deep-felt healing heart connection that is received and given fully without any holding back.

Do you know what the fun of all this is? Once you embrace that self-love, you will be able to ask for it more and more and people will be so willing to give you, and give you, and give you more.

And never forget you can be the first person to start giving. Try it right now, hug the person closest to you with that intention.

Love is free. There is a universe full of it.

Lucien Lecarme


This blog was first posted on Medium. Check it out here >>

How to Start Living a More Heart-Directed Life?

Open up more and embrace the true virtues of your heart to feel more joy


The main qualities of the heart are compassion, forgiveness, generosity, gratefulness, acceptance, Love and wisdom.

Old mystics, Zen Buddhists and wise men all over the world have studied the essence of life and awareness for ages. They all come back to the immense intelligence and wisdom of the heart and its ability to connect to other hearts, and they have discerned the heart as the place of virtue.

One of the masters in my life, the meditation teacher Burgs, explains in his books and videos that it is enough to spend 1/3 of our time towards ourselves, and 2/3 of our time towards others to become truly happy and fulfilled people.

It takes mindfulness to come to a human life
and than above that,
It takes mindfulness and virtue
to come to a fortunate human life — Burgs

Burgs teaches meditation for people to stop the constant blur of the mind and start being open to the infinite wisdom of the heart.

I believe the souls of people have to wake up first to a certain degree to make the conscious choice to live our lives in virtue, with helping others rather than struggle the infinite ego struggle, being caught up daily in everlasting conflicts, triggers and negative

self-confirming habit patterns. Ergo, to be victims of our lives.

How to Start Living a More Heart-Directed Life?

“You have to teach your heart and mind to sing together, than you’ll hear the sound of your soul” — zen wisdom

To achieve this is not easy and different for everybody. Some need to rock bottom in their addiction, some have to completely live out their toxicity to realize that it brings them nowhere. Some have an instant awakening experience.

I believe millions of people around the world have woken up to a certain degree during the last months since crises are opportunities for growth.

Awakening is an ongoing process, the good news is that the heart is patient. It silently waits for your awakening, which means his/her awakening, which means for your mind to finally shut up.

The bad news is that fear isn’t helping to wake up. Or maybe it is?

Lets dive in this deeper for a moment. From fear comes contraction or freeze, the infamous fight or freeze response to potentially harmful events, like a pandemic, or when you’re having a safari in Africa and suddenly the tire of your 4wheel goes flat when a herd of lions is approaching.

Most people spent a lifetime repeating the stories they created around their trauma’s, without really solving anything. It’s a way to stay away from the pain. The majority of humans rather avoid pain to stay in a kind of middle range of emotions. Other options are to numb yourself out with addiction. Then the life pulse of your life starts to look like this:

Numb — Numb — Numb — TRIGGER — Numb — Numb —NETFLIX — Numb — Numb — TRIGGER — Numb — Numb — MacDonalds

I did that myself too, for ages, especially in relationships, the perfect breeding ground to explore your triggers. Until I found a place safe enough to really go deeper, release the pain and opening up to fully receive the love from others. From that imprint on, it is easier for me to stay open, to be more heart connected.

The downside of feeling deeper is that I also feel emotions more that I used to label negative. Like disconnection, grief, anger and the pain of life in general. I recently found out that this capacity is not a downside at all unless I manage to really go deep into the emotion, breathe into it so to speak.

It is our minds that make things about ourselves wrong, and this closure from feeling deeper and accepting our emotions actually causes pain, not trauma in itself

So I guess that’s it for now. I described my process of opening up more, with feeling more as a result, less addiction and numbing out.. and as the end result: feeling more joy… yeah

That is one way of living a more heart-connected life. And I believe this process is applicable for many people since we behave kind of the same when it comes to trauma, how we deal with our pain, emotions and opening up.

Please share your experiences in the comments when you like, thank you.

Lucien Lecarme


Lucien is author of the future novel “The Wisdom Keeper“. Sign up for the Wisdom keeper’s 8-week online abundance course here to accelerate your abundance and freedom awakening towards living a more human and interconnected life together.