How to Start Living a More Heart-Directed Life?

Open up more and embrace the true virtues of your heart to feel more joy


The main qualities of the heart are compassion, forgiveness, generosity, gratefulness, acceptance, Love and wisdom.

Old mystics, Zen Buddhists and wise men all over the world have studied the essence of life and awareness for ages. They all come back to the immense intelligence and wisdom of the heart and its ability to connect to other hearts, and they have discerned the heart as the place of virtue.

One of the masters in my life, the meditation teacher Burgs, explains in his books and videos that it is enough to spend 1/3 of our time towards ourselves, and 2/3 of our time towards others to become truly happy and fulfilled people.

It takes mindfulness to come to a human life
and than above that,
It takes mindfulness and virtue
to come to a fortunate human life — Burgs

Burgs teaches meditation for people to stop the constant blur of the mind and start being open to the infinite wisdom of the heart.

I believe the souls of people have to wake up first to a certain degree to make the conscious choice to live our lives in virtue, with helping others rather than struggle the infinite ego struggle, being caught up daily in everlasting conflicts, triggers and negative

self-confirming habit patterns. Ergo, to be victims of our lives.

How to Start Living a More Heart-Directed Life?

“You have to teach your heart and mind to sing together, than you’ll hear the sound of your soul” — zen wisdom

To achieve this is not easy and different for everybody. Some need to rock bottom in their addiction, some have to completely live out their toxicity to realize that it brings them nowhere. Some have an instant awakening experience.

I believe millions of people around the world have woken up to a certain degree during the last months since crises are opportunities for growth.

Awakening is an ongoing process, the good news is that the heart is patient. It silently waits for your awakening, which means his/her awakening, which means for your mind to finally shut up.

The bad news is that fear isn’t helping to wake up. Or maybe it is?

Lets dive in this deeper for a moment. From fear comes contraction or freeze, the infamous fight or freeze response to potentially harmful events, like a pandemic, or when you’re having a safari in Africa and suddenly the tire of your 4wheel goes flat when a herd of lions is approaching.

Most people spent a lifetime repeating the stories they created around their trauma’s, without really solving anything. It’s a way to stay away from the pain. The majority of humans rather avoid pain to stay in a kind of middle range of emotions. Other options are to numb yourself out with addiction. Then the life pulse of your life starts to look like this:

Numb — Numb — Numb — TRIGGER — Numb — Numb —NETFLIX — Numb — Numb — TRIGGER — Numb — Numb — MacDonalds

I did that myself too, for ages, especially in relationships, the perfect breeding ground to explore your triggers. Until I found a place safe enough to really go deeper, release the pain and opening up to fully receive the love from others. From that imprint on, it is easier for me to stay open, to be more heart connected.

The downside of feeling deeper is that I also feel emotions more that I used to label negative. Like disconnection, grief, anger and the pain of life in general. I recently found out that this capacity is not a downside at all unless I manage to really go deep into the emotion, breathe into it so to speak.

It is our minds that make things about ourselves wrong, and this closure from feeling deeper and accepting our emotions actually causes pain, not trauma in itself

So I guess that’s it for now. I described my process of opening up more, with feeling more as a result, less addiction and numbing out.. and as the end result: feeling more joy… yeah

That is one way of living a more heart-connected life. And I believe this process is applicable for many people since we behave kind of the same when it comes to trauma, how we deal with our pain, emotions and opening up.

Please share your experiences in the comments when you like, thank you.

Lucien Lecarme


Lucien is author of the future novel “The Wisdom Keeper“. Sign up for the Wisdom keeper’s 8-week online abundance course here to accelerate your abundance and freedom awakening towards living a more human and interconnected life together.

Not Your Money but Your Mind Is the Door to Your Freedom

How to change your relationship with money to change the game

In a few months last year, I owned over €10.000. A rarity in the last decade of my life.

What did I do with it?

I spent it on a magical 6-day horseback journey over the Andes with 5 friends in Argentina. I lavished myself in Costa Rica in a surf retreat and did a spiritual deep dive in the Envision festival. I danced the tango in Buenos Aires for 2 weeks staying in amazing AirBnB’s.

It was all soul-nourishing and some of the memories will stay with me forever. But now I need to pay the rent again with my freelance work.

I literally never know how much will come in each month, but it kind of always works out. It did for the past 7 years, so why not for the next month?

Still, I can wake up feeling the cold sweat of the fear of lack of money. The classic: “What if…”

I discovered a way to deal with those worries about money.

I realized I can’t control the people that might like to hire me, but I do can control my mind.

I even believe now after years of practice, that my relation to this fear, my relationship to the idea of lack, influences the flow of money in my life. It is not one on one, it is not a trick, but it does have a major impact.

Let me take you on my journey. I sincerely believe anybody can do the same.

What is money?

Money is a big deal for most people, even people that have enough of it. It is a mindset, a way of looking at the world, a lifestyle almost. And it is very personal. For some it can become an obsession, a holy grail, for others it just comes and goes like the tide. I belong to the latter group.

What you don’t have you don’t need it now — U2 lyric from A Beautiful Day

In the spiritual circles and in many new-agy coursebooks you will read that money is an energy, money is Love.

I agree, but I can’t pay the rent to my old Ibicencan landlord with love. No matter how compassionate I would be to the cashier in the local supermercado, I would not be able to pass the counter with my shopping after giving her a big hug full of positive energy.

Imagine for a moment a world where that actually would work, wouldn’t that be amazing?

Money can be a materialization of love and energy and it is often a result of our mindset, our conditioning and limiting beliefs in life.

What do I mean with that?

change

Money as a mindset

Maybe you have the following mindset, a deep believe how the world works:

In your life you have been conditioned to ‘survive’ this harsh world, you are alone and you have ‘to make it’. Money is scarce, and you will need to fight for it. You need to become ‘better’ than your colleague, or else he or she will take your money and you’d be left behind.

Or you might believe this:

When I follow my passion, joy, and talents, I believe life will reward me. There is, in fact, enough money for everybody and when I start sharing my gifts, start giving value to people in their every days life, the money will flow to me as a fair reward.

The magical thing here is, it is up to you what to believe.

Maybe we can divide the people on this planet into two categories. The ones that have learned to believe in lack, and the ones that believe in abundance. I get it, it’s too black and white. It’s for the sake of what I bring forward.

Where do you belong?

To find out, sit for a moment with yourself and take some time to write down your dominant ideas around money. What does the dollar mean to you? Think about your mother and father, how did they perceive money? Did it flow easily for them? Was it a struggle in parts of their lives? And how come? What imprint did that make on you when you were young?

This is an important one, go as deep as you can and figure out this essential thing:

Do you believe there is enough money for everyone, in other words, abundance is your core mindset, or do you have a deeper belief that there is not enough for everybody, at least not for you and there is a structural scarcity?

Research shows that only 19 % of Americans think they make enough money. This means the rest somehow faces a reality of lack, of not making enough money.

What really helped me in unfolding my own limiting beliefs around money was the 21 days abundance challenge from Deepak Chopra. I believe many people around the world have done it, or are doing it right now. Find a link at the end of this article.

To fully grasp the fact that money is a mindset is your key to having more, or less of it. Or at least, coming to peace in your relationship with money

Why don’t you save some money?

When I was a kid, I was a real banker. I had a small vault with a lock and a key, and I saved as much of the small pocket money as I received. I also saved old coins. I even had one from 1749 from the Dutch East Indian Company.

I could spend hours counting my money, and up till this very moment I can tab in the good feeling that gave me. Sometimes I even smelled it, and it didn’t stink. I also loved Monopoly and gaining all those expensive streets gave me a short-lived sensation of power. I did feel sorry though for my young peers that were left with nothing. Monopoly was trying to make me ready for the real world.

I completely lost that ability to save along the way. What happened?

Well, in short, life hit me.

Already from a young age, I had to deal with severe losses in my life. My mother died when I was 22. I never inherited large sums of money, I did have to make it on my own, most of the times in life. And I Did.

My life lessons became my capital.

Losing my mother dying of cancer changed a lot for me.

I am sure it added to the art of living in the moment that I started to apply to my own life more and more.

It is the: Why save all my money for later when later can be taken away from me in an instant?

The losses in my life molded my soul and contributed to living in the moment and finding all I need in that sweet spot of blissful simply being here

When you have lost a dear one, you might recognize this feeling. And I realize this can apply to even find yourself the times just after the ending of a relationship

Death, or the pain of loss, strips away al the non-essential things in life.

gravejpg

Death and Money

Death is the best teacher to throw you in the wild currents of life, you might feel you drown sometimes, but at least you are alive.

Before death entered my life, I realized I was standing at the sideline waiting for life to begin.

Death comes with the assignment to fix the more fundamental questions in life, at least, when you are open to it.

Why are you here? What do you really want to do in life?

I have experienced that life is short, death is real, I better start making the best out of it. Every day, every minute.

That is why for me, I tend to spend my money on widening my horizon, on courses that make me expand, and travel and connecting to people I don’t know.

At the end of each journey, I have an empty bank account and golden memories. I have lived, I have loved, I felt pain and found ecstasy in smelling the flowers along my path.

This is exactly why I don’t save much money. My culture still tells me I should, this is how that works and what you can do about letting that go too.

The way money works in the West

In our western culture, the core-setting is scarcity, Period. Our complete economy is built around scarcity.

From when we were young we have been taught that money is scarce. Without scarcity, no economy.

More for you means less for me. Our system has thrown us in a endless competition for never enough money

Because we have been taught this by our parents, the way they lived, our schools, teachers, and society itself, this is one of the deepest mindsets most people have.

The way we organize our money has become a result of the belief in the story of lack. In fact, our money system itself has become something based on lack. This is because the money comes with interest-bearing debt. Money must make more of itself, so in essence, there is never enough money.

When the bank lends you $1000,-, you need to pay interest, so you need to bring at least $1100,- back to the bank.

The bank credit of $25.000,- I took when I graduated from Uni took me 15 years to pay off. At the end of that journey, I had paid the bank $50.000,-.It was a good lesson not to deal with banks or take high credits. I never had a mortgage.

Take a moment for yourself and realize how strong this belief, this truth, this cultural mindset is alive in yourself. How much of that story do you actually believe?

For me, in my personal life, it is no longer true. Life has shown me another truth. One that is more real than my teachers and parents have taught me.

I will show you how to slowly peel these layers of cultural limiting belief, of the false collective mindset of scarcity that created our present-day money.

qprison

How to free yourself from the prison of money

The mindset of the permanent lack of money making us compete for it is the root cause of most of our problems in this world.

It has created the pyramidical financial systems where 1 per cent owns everything, and 99% does not. I write about this in my own publication: Spirit of Crypto.

I have decided to step out of that system, by simply thinking differently, because my heart continuously tells me there is a more beautiful world possible than the one we have created so far.

At the core of my thinking is believing. After my life lessons, my pain and journey, I have come to the realization that there is no lack in my life anymore, there is only abundance.

Well, that’s easy, your critical or cynical mind might think reading this. And quite honestly, yeah, it is. You can do this too.

There is an abundance when all I have is my last €100,-, and there is an abundance when I had my €10k.

Don’t mix the amount of money people have with how abundant they are, how abundant they feel. Many people feel rather shitty in their big palaces with security cameras and high fences.

Abundance is our birth right and in some crazy way, it is taken away from you and me. But only as long as we allow since abundance is a state of mind

You can claim it back. This is how

How to claim your abundance

The most direct way is tapping in the abundance that is you, that lives in you.

You will need some quietness, contemplation, meditation, and beauty of nature for this.

The best is to combine all of this. Find a beautiful spot in nature, and meditate there, contemplating some universal truths. Connect to the abundance of nature that lives in you too, since you are an interconnected part of nature.

Or when you are in a room, just sit down and create a nurturing atmosphere. Light some candles, ignite some incense, put on some soft quiet music.

Than tab into the reality that the core of your essence is abundance. Feel the gratitude on a deep level. For this life, for the fact that you breathe and can feel your heart. For everything that is around you, that you acquired. It can be material things, but also your friendships, your family, your talents.

Be thankful for the little gifts that each and every day brings you.

Gratefulness is the rich soil on which abundance grows

Really, there is not much more to it.

I could go on and tell you about frequencies, the law of attraction and so on, but that turns it all into a trick you can learn. For me, this question is more relevant

Can you feel the abundance flooding through the veins of your life, can you feel that true source of life? Can you tune into your heart by silencing the voices in your head and can it magically evoke a real smile on your face?

In that feeling and reality, there is no place for scarcity let alone the prison of money that our culture has built around us.

Trust life and money will flow

There is another final mind exercise I like to show you. It is my personal safe haven in times when my old conditioning takes over. O yeah, that can happen.

I can wake up sweaty with rings of fear around my heart telling me I won’t survive another day and they all come and get me and throw me in a deep dark smelly dungeon when I can’t pay my rent. Or something like that.

Then I remember myself this other truth, I tell myself this:

First of all: From all the fears that my mind created, none of them has played out in the real world. None. You can do the check for yourself. Or at least, not in the same exact manner.

That makes the voice of my fears a big liar. And frankly, it is.
Your mind can become the Alfred Hitchcock of your life producing ultimate horror scenes on demand, making you hooked and keeping you stuck in the darkness of your home cinema in your head. While outside the sun shines.

Second: Apparently I have managed to pay that same amount of money for the rent for the last 7 years I live here. So I will manage now.

Just look at the facts of life. You are alive, you probably have some food in your fridge, you have friends, a home, you can read these lines and God bless you are healthy.

OK, one layer under that comforting thought might still be some doubt.

Will that freelance job come through? How many books will I sell this month? I many people will join my guided tours? Or whatever job you do.

Then I breathe out, tune into the 2nd strongest feeling after feeling the abundance all around you and deep inside of you: Trust

trust

Trust has brought me here

Life has proven me this far that I can fully trust the universe, he or she or it will have my back.

To trust is an exercise in looking beyond the fear, in looking what is actually real.

What reality tells me is that life really treats me well. I do work for it, I have my doubts, my fallbacks, and short-lived crisis. Throughout all of those life lessons that shaped me, I have come to some certain truths about money, life, abundance, and trust. They have become my guiding light.

The more I give to live, the more life gives me back. The more I trust life, the more life rewards me.

When you tune into your own abundance that lives deep inside of you beyond conditioned layers of fear, beyond the voice of culture that imprints you with lack, you will find an ocean of abundance.

Swim in it as much as you can, and your life slowly but surely will materialize in the same abundance, whatever that means for your unique path of life.

Lucien Lecarme


This blog was firs posted in my Medium account. Check it here>>

How To Benefit From Highly Energetic Places

Sometimes they show you miracles, this is what I experienced.

Rain drizzled from a grey sky on that late October afternoon in Ibiza. I just led a Dutch family to a place called Atlantis. From there, we had to make a steep climb to see Es Vedra, an amazing rock formation in the south-west of the island. The parents tired, the kids loving it. I turned my head to the left to take one last glance at Atlantis, the place where the Phoenicians took out big blocks of sandstone to build the walls of Ibiza town.

What I saw next took all my breath away

A huge perfect spiral in the sea, at least 2 km wide.

My brain could not place this image immediately, but my body felt it directly, in a nanosecond. This was a miracle of nature. A real present was given to me when I least expected it.

My photographer’s instinct survived this energetic blast and I quickly took out my Nokia 43 megapixel camera phone. I took that one shot. Then I turned around to the family and pointed at the miracle.

Yes, Yes, A spiral. Can we go home now?

Didn’t they see it? Or were they just too tired? I decided to have a last look at this amazing phenomenon of nature, and I led the family safe home.

Later I Googled ‘Spiral in the ocean’, and found nothing.

This is a story about what living in front of a powerspot has given me apart from the spiral, and how you can benefit from energetically highly charged places. They can literally change your life in a nanosecond.


The earth has places of high vibration. This often goes hand in hand with extreme beauty. Think of Uluru in Australia, the sacred ancestral creator spirit from the Dreamtime of the Aborigines. Or the Egyptian pyramids.

Powerspots are places where new information enters the world. On those often famous spots, a calibration takes place.

They are the chakras of the earth. Acupuncturists will treat the centre points of chakras to re-centre the body. The powerspots on the earth are channels of high vibrational energy that re-centre the earth. They often attract thousands of tourists that come for their extreme beauty, but subconsciously are attracted to its higher vibration.

They are places of healing, transformation, gaining new insights and sometimes natural ecstasy.

Imagine living in front of one of those places. That is what happened to me.

I gained a lot of insights on how to benefit from that strong energy, and what it can teach us. I lead people on hikes, and organize short retreats in front of the famous powerspot in Ibiza: Es Vedra. All of those activities are inspired by its energy. Because this natural beauty needs to be shared, with as many people as possible.

And there is a dark side to it, I come to that later.

I also believe these magic places play an important role in the transformation we are undergoing as humanity at the moment.

There is a lot of disruption, people are searching for their true purpose, and we are learning to take care of the earth again. Powerspots can help us in our quest, personal and on a broader level.

First, let’s have a look at the seven most famous powerspots that are easy to visit

Mount_coliforniaThe 7 chakras of the earth: The most energetic places

  1. ROOT CHAKRA: MOUNT SHASTA, CALIFORNIA
  2. SACRAL CHAKRA: LAKE TITICACA, BOLIVIA & PERU
  3. SOLAR PLEXUS CHAKRA: ULURU & KATA TJUTA, AUSTRALIA
  4. HEART CHAKRA: GLASTONBURY & SHAFTESBURY, ENGLAND
  5. THROAT CHAKRA: GREAT PYRAMID OF GIZA & MT. SINAI, EGYPT, MT. OF OLIVES, JERUSALEM, ISRAEL
  6. THIRD EYE CHAKRA: THE AEON ACTIVATION CENTER
  7. CROWN CHAKRA: KAILASH, TIBET

This list comes from some research. I googled energetic strong places and found an article by Laura Grier. Her story in huffpost.com starts, you guessed it, in front of Es Vedra, Ibiza. Some other writers mention other places of power like Mount Beluga in Siberia, the mother root chakra of the earth. Or a place in the mountains in Bulgaria where every year thousands of people gather in white to dance in symmetrical forms to celebrate the strong energy there.


Everything is energy. Everything is vibration. According to certain laws of attraction, we attract what we vibrate. Raising your vibration then becomes a tool to get closer to your soul purpose. That is what we are all here for.

Next to your personal vibration, the earth has its own vibration. Its called the Shuman resonance. Many believe that this pressure has lots to do with the awareness of humans on the planet.

We are in a period of highly increasing vibrations. The Shuman resonance is accelerating.

When we look at humanity, I believe we are in a story in between stories. Meaning the old paradigm, things we believed in, are no longer true for many.

Our economic system, for example, seems to be in the process of getting obsolete. Do you still believe in our cartoon politicians? New technologies like the Blockchain are invented to bridge us to our new phase of evolution.

Now let’s take this back to a more personal level.

Many people are called in these days to become transformers. People to help make that change. They are the coaches, healers, visionary and modern saints and visionaries of today’s society. They have learned to raise their own vibration, embrace their deeper soul purpose and in doing so they are embodying that change. They are walking the talk.

True transformation is the result of challenging choices, letting go of the old even when the new hasn’t manifested yet. It can take tremendous courage since the old provided security. As a Ninja warrior of your life, it requires you to step into the unknown.

Powerspots can be of great help when you find yourself in a similar process.

Powerspots are the generators of change and energetic initiators. Staying close to a high energetic places on earth will raise your vibration and in doing so brings you closer to your purpose.

This also applies to your favourite place in nature. It can even be in a park in a city. A place to redraw from the buzz of life and recharge. Like the bigger powerspots, often there is a sense of awe and beauty around those places. A place where you can breathe. It doesn’t matter how strong, but you probably feel it and that’s why you use them as a natural battery to recharge.

When you haven’t found one yet, I hope this piece inspires you to go find your own powerspot in nature.

ULURU

I have some friends that are very sensitive to these kinds of energies. They visit Es Vedra especially to receive the new program by meditating in front of Es Vedra. Or just being in its presence for a while. In one rare occasion, a woman couldn’t face the rock directly. After finally meeting the rock, she explained to me she felt energetically run over by a train.

Energetically high charged places will support and speed up your process of transformation. In front of them, you can drop your old stories and stand naked in front of your own truth. And possibly embrace it.

This new vibration challenges you to get aligned with it, so you need to step up to the game. Cut out any bullshit of the mind and dare to take the next step, including any difficult choices you might have to make.

Lower vibration simply can’t catch up with the new energy that is entering your system around power places.

Es Vedra’s energy is intensifying and purifying. The higher vibration creates the experience that everything is more intense. Its beauty, incredible sunsets, a full moon setting in the sea wrapping everything in magic silver shine.

Vedra_moon

The dark side I mentioned earlier is that the shadow of everything gets magnified too.

When I feel a bit alone in my house in front of the rock, I feel desolate, a soul gone astray in the middle of a deserted sea. When I feel pain, it is pretty intense and I need to purge it immediately. Sometimes very powerfull winds and thunder and lightning rage around me in winter and it feels like the rock is purging the shadow of humanity.

W.T.F ?

This may sound far off, but maybe you have experienced this too when being close to a Powerspot. Or even want to experience this. The downloads you can get and the purging will all help you to accelerate your process you are in. This is why I started to organize the retreats here, to offer that channel to people.


In a very organic way, I have found tools around Es Vedra to support these processes of letting go and receiving with my clients.

The spiral in the sea that I saw that afternoon was super special. But there are more spirals around Es Vedra and Atlantis. Just before the steep descent to Atlantis, there is a big stone spiral made by Andres. He used to live in a cave high above Atlantis with his partner. A wise man whose life mission was to take care of the stone spiral. A modern Sadhu, wise men. For him, the spiral symbolized the cosmos, life and death, infinity.

I invite my guests to enter the spiral. Its energy really works when people step inside. I ask them to let go of whatever doesn’t serve them any longer, leave an offering in the middle, and receive new life-force, inspiration and what they are ready for.

stone_circle

Interestingly enough the energetic vortex of the powerspot Es Vedra has been materialized in the stone spiral made by Andres. A vortex literally means Swirling Spiral energy.

What I witnessed in the sea that October afternoon was another materialization of the same vortex energy, the huge perfect spiral in the sea.

It is not always easy to live around those energies all the time. But I have embraced my own purpose to hold space for it. To transmit and explain its knowledge to visitors.

It helped me to realize my long kept dream. I wrote a novel in front of the rock: The Wisdom keeper. I am sure there is some rock wisdom in there too.

Find your own powerspot, your sanctuary of beauty. However big or small it is, it will reconnect you with your purity, grace and inner peace. Whenever you feel displaced, off-center or drowning in a world of noise, outer layers and diffusion, it will guide you back to your own power.

Awakening is a different name for raising one’s frequency. It is about becoming aware of different perspectives, from which you may choose whatever you resonate with

Raphael Zernoff

Lucien Lecarme


This post originally was published on Medium, check it out here

Why calling myself a writer is the best thing that ever happened in my life

My passion is to write words that go deeper
I write because I simply love writing

How do you become a writer?

There is only one true answer to that. And there is no shortcut.

You start writing and you don’t stop. It is a rollercoaster passing canyons of despair and mountain tops of paragraph orgasms.

I am a wordsmith that can create worlds with words.

magician

  • I have written 160 blogs the last year mostly on the medium platform.
  • All my articles in the Netherlands have been published. Mostly about travel and culture.
  • Since 2 years I write every day in English. I am a native Dutch speaker
  • I self-published my novel “The WIsdom Keeper” 2 years ago.

My next step is to write content for others, I am ready for it. Especially Dutch entrepreneurs that settle in Ibiza and need some kick-ass lines for bringing their value about.

When you need words that reach further, that fill the space between you and your clients. When you need creative content with a bite. Call me or mail me

Lucien Lecarme
tango@dds.nl
www.medium.com/@lucienlecarme

Want to know more? click here

These Life Lessons Made Me Realize What Money Really Is

Why you need to live life to the fullest to find out what money means to you

 

Imagine a pawnshop for life experiences. You need cash, bring your life lesson and now you can pay your debt. You won’t get back that specific life experience you traded. Would you do it?

You probably have memories and experiences that are priceless, would you trade them for a million?

Let’s put it this way. When you are lost in the desert and you can choose between a kilo of gold and a litre of water: which do you choose?

I guess your choice is water.

Money is relative in certain circumstances and many life experiences can’t be expressed in money. On the other hand, when your life is full of rich experiences, that doesn’t automatically mean your bank account is full too.

My experience in life is that in order to have many enriching life experiences, I needed to let go of my bag of money. The stuff I accumulated over the years.

 

Life is a bunch of circumstances that makes you let go of things that become too heavy to enjoy a light travel.

I am now 53 and when I look back at my life I see myself accumulating stuff, experiences, money, and friends in the first part up ’til 40. The last 13 years have all been about the often painful process of letting go of exactly the same things I did so much work and effort to assemble. Happily, my life lessons remained. They are my true gold.

“So what’s the point?” I hear you ask.

Wait, there is more to it. Already at a young age, I had experiences that made me question everything. Still, I needed to be in the money game and become successful.

These life experiences and lessons made me discover the real value of money.


Death

When death happens early to you, it will mark you for the rest of your life. I don’t mean your specific death since it would be game over. No, the death of a dear close family or a beloved one.

I lost my mother from cancer when I was 31 after a process of 15 years. It told me so much about life. It cleared most of the unhealthy patterns we had in our family.

Death is the only profound experience that can teach you what life is really all about.

 

It was a process of purification and looking to the existential stuff out there. No more time for bullshit when you have a few days more to live.

This intensity before a loved one dies, that sacred space of heart connection and being human is an amazing gift. My mother gave me that gift: to feel life deeper and more sacred than ever before

After these experiences I still wanted to succeed in my work, make good money and build my reputation. The presence of death, however, had given me the assurance that it can fall away one day.

Everything you have built up your entire life can fall away in an instant and death taught me that what you will find in that space of loss is priceless.

It made me less afraid to lose everything because I knew it would not be the end of it. Merely a beginning.


Addiction

I wasn’t afraid to lose everything since I had experienced that life is the biggest gift and losing is not the end but more often the beginning of unexpected journeys.

I took this quite literally.

After my mother died I got introduced to the world of casinos and gambling through a friend and I start practising losing everything. I did lose everything, many times.

Life had hit me hard. I closed my heart to avoid more pain. Sadly this way I isolated myself from real love and nurturing relationships.

Gambling became a substitute, a place where dopamine kept me alive when all I needed was allowing myself to open my heart again. But I couldn’t.

The heart has its own mysterious ways and there is beauty and grace in suffering too.

Some I drank seven whiskeys at home, walked to the casino, lost thousands of bucks, but felt alive. The next morning was a different experience, more like an elephant of guilt, blame and shame stamping on my head.

When you are standing with your back against your empty bank account, you start to appreciate the things you always took for granted.

Real friendship, family, your health, the fact that you have a job…

I won once in a while too. In the drunk aftermath, it was not unusual to visit a hooker or call a girl. Yes, that one, the one you call.

A lonely attempt to get my heart filled when my glass, heart, and wallet was empty.

It took me about 10 years, I lost about $100.000, and had a lot of dollar coaster moments in the casino that I never will forget. From people desperately asking me if I wanted to buy their wallet five minutes before closing to $500 sticking out of the ATM machine inside the casino, people had forgotten to take the money with them. The Chinese or Russian mob playing $100k at the time without blinking an eye.

Everybody that gambles has their reason and their pain. I never forget the conspiring atmosphere between the green tables, the buzzing of the wins and loses against all odds and hope dying out like the smoke of a cigarette on a wet street at the outskirts of life.

It taught me the essence of money.

Money is life energy, it is love, it is everything and nothing and you will always get some more even when you just lost everything.

But you do need to work for it. A casino is no shortcut to money neither to real life. It takes both away from you.

Read here how I eventually got rid of that addiction

Love

I finally managed to open my heart again after countless relationships with the most beautiful women on earth whom I met through my passion: the Argentinian Tango.

tangopics

There was potential true love in there, and I always gave my all. But that didn’t make me attach completely to these artsy, crazy, wonderful creatures. I believed I attracted the women that had the same problem, often the same pain. They stayed at a distance even when our bodies would press hard against each other in a firm embrace on the dance floor of life.

They would angle me in with their sensual amazing bodies and let me play around for a while.

    And then, all of a sudden they would throw me out, drown me in their undercurrents of toxic purple rain, their pain, the unresolved trauma’s. We would mutually drown in drama, waving at each other from a sinking titanic, our love hitting the iceberg of our cold hearts.

Yes, it was passionate, it was sensual and sexual, but it was still not nurturing.

Until I was ready. Until I did the work, released the pain, opened my heart really and fully. Only then I was ready to meet my real-life partner.

My soul mate, my friend till the end. The wise counterpart that forgave me my sins even before I would make them. I can tell you, unconditional love beats them all. It makes you forgive yourself, it makes you not make a mistake because you don’t need that pattern anymore to kick yourself in the balls later.

It made me let go of my shame, blame and guilt play. She is the perfect mirror and she made me grow beyond I could ever imagine.

And money?

She made me realize forever and ever that love, real love always beats money. The real love in your heart. Money can cover up the lack of your connection to that love. Money can cover up that dark hole of pain cut in your soul.

The more you are able to fill that black hole of the absence of love in your life, the less and less important money will become for you.

Lucien Lecarme


This blog was originally posted on Medium, read it here >>