How to change your relationship with money to change the game
In a few months last year, I owned over €10.000. A rarity in the last decade of my life.
What did I do with it?
I spent it on a magical 6-day horseback journey over the Andes with 5 friends in Argentina. I lavished myself in Costa Rica in a surf retreat and did a spiritual deep dive in the Envision festival. I danced the tango in Buenos Aires for 2 weeks staying in amazing AirBnB’s.
It was all soul-nourishing and some of the memories will stay with me forever. But now I need to pay the rent again with my freelance work.
I literally never know how much will come in each month, but it kind of always works out. It did for the past 7 years, so why not for the next month?
Still, I can wake up feeling the cold sweat of the fear of lack of money. The classic: “What if…”
I discovered a way to deal with those worries about money.
I realized I can’t control the people that might like to hire me, but I do can control my mind.
I even believe now after years of practice, that my relation to this fear, my relationship to the idea of lack, influences the flow of money in my life. It is not one on one, it is not a trick, but it does have a major impact.
Let me take you on my journey. I sincerely believe anybody can do the same.
What is money?
Money is a big deal for most people, even people that have enough of it. It is a mindset, a way of looking at the world, a lifestyle almost. And it is very personal. For some it can become an obsession, a holy grail, for others it just comes and goes like the tide. I belong to the latter group.
What you don’t have you don’t need it now — U2 lyric from A Beautiful Day
In the spiritual circles and in many new-agy coursebooks you will read that money is an energy, money is Love.
I agree, but I can’t pay the rent to my old Ibicencan landlord with love. No matter how compassionate I would be to the cashier in the local supermercado, I would not be able to pass the counter with my shopping after giving her a big hug full of positive energy.
Imagine for a moment a world where that actually would work, wouldn’t that be amazing?
Money can be a materialization of love and energy and it is often a result of our mindset, our conditioning and limiting beliefs in life.
What do I mean with that?
Money as a mindset
Maybe you have the following mindset, a deep believe how the world works:
In your life you have been conditioned to ‘survive’ this harsh world, you are alone and you have ‘to make it’. Money is scarce, and you will need to fight for it. You need to become ‘better’ than your colleague, or else he or she will take your money and you’d be left behind.
Or you might believe this:
When I follow my passion, joy, and talents, I believe life will reward me. There is, in fact, enough money for everybody and when I start sharing my gifts, start giving value to people in their every days life, the money will flow to me as a fair reward.
The magical thing here is, it is up to you what to believe.
Maybe we can divide the people on this planet into two categories. The ones that have learned to believe in lack, and the ones that believe in abundance. I get it, it’s too black and white. It’s for the sake of what I bring forward.
Where do you belong?
To find out, sit for a moment with yourself and take some time to write down your dominant ideas around money. What does the dollar mean to you? Think about your mother and father, how did they perceive money? Did it flow easily for them? Was it a struggle in parts of their lives? And how come? What imprint did that make on you when you were young?
This is an important one, go as deep as you can and figure out this essential thing:
Do you believe there is enough money for everyone, in other words, abundance is your core mindset, or do you have a deeper belief that there is not enough for everybody, at least not for you and there is a structural scarcity?
Research shows that only 19 % of Americans think they make enough money. This means the rest somehow faces a reality of lack, of not making enough money.
What really helped me in unfolding my own limiting beliefs around money was the 21 days abundance challenge from Deepak Chopra. I believe many people around the world have done it, or are doing it right now. Find a link at the end of this article.
To fully grasp the fact that money is a mindset is your key to having more, or less of it. Or at least, coming to peace in your relationship with money
Why don’t you save some money?
When I was a kid, I was a real banker. I had a small vault with a lock and a key, and I saved as much of the small pocket money as I received. I also saved old coins. I even had one from 1749 from the Dutch East Indian Company.
I could spend hours counting my money, and up till this very moment I can tab in the good feeling that gave me. Sometimes I even smelled it, and it didn’t stink. I also loved Monopoly and gaining all those expensive streets gave me a short-lived sensation of power. I did feel sorry though for my young peers that were left with nothing. Monopoly was trying to make me ready for the real world.
I completely lost that ability to save along the way. What happened?
Well, in short, life hit me.
Already from a young age, I had to deal with severe losses in my life. My mother died when I was 22. I never inherited large sums of money, I did have to make it on my own, most of the times in life. And I Did.
My life lessons became my capital.
Losing my mother dying of cancer changed a lot for me.
I am sure it added to the art of living in the moment that I started to apply to my own life more and more.
It is the: Why save all my money for later when later can be taken away from me in an instant?
The losses in my life molded my soul and contributed to living in the moment and finding all I need in that sweet spot of blissful simply being here
When you have lost a dear one, you might recognize this feeling. And I realize this can apply to even find yourself the times just after the ending of a relationship
Death, or the pain of loss, strips away al the non-essential things in life.
Death and Money
Death is the best teacher to throw you in the wild currents of life, you might feel you drown sometimes, but at least you are alive.
Before death entered my life, I realized I was standing at the sideline waiting for life to begin.
Death comes with the assignment to fix the more fundamental questions in life, at least, when you are open to it.
Why are you here? What do you really want to do in life?
I have experienced that life is short, death is real, I better start making the best out of it. Every day, every minute.
That is why for me, I tend to spend my money on widening my horizon, on courses that make me expand, and travel and connecting to people I don’t know.
At the end of each journey, I have an empty bank account and golden memories. I have lived, I have loved, I felt pain and found ecstasy in smelling the flowers along my path.
This is exactly why I don’t save much money. My culture still tells me I should, this is how that works and what you can do about letting that go too.
The way money works in the West
In our western culture, the core-setting is scarcity, Period. Our complete economy is built around scarcity.
From when we were young we have been taught that money is scarce. Without scarcity, no economy.
More for you means less for me. Our system has thrown us in a endless competition for never enough money
Because we have been taught this by our parents, the way they lived, our schools, teachers, and society itself, this is one of the deepest mindsets most people have.
The way we organize our money has become a result of the belief in the story of lack. In fact, our money system itself has become something based on lack. This is because the money comes with interest-bearing debt. Money must make more of itself, so in essence, there is never enough money.
When the bank lends you $1000,-, you need to pay interest, so you need to bring at least $1100,- back to the bank.
The bank credit of $25.000,- I took when I graduated from Uni took me 15 years to pay off. At the end of that journey, I had paid the bank $50.000,-.It was a good lesson not to deal with banks or take high credits. I never had a mortgage.
Take a moment for yourself and realize how strong this belief, this truth, this cultural mindset is alive in yourself. How much of that story do you actually believe?
For me, in my personal life, it is no longer true. Life has shown me another truth. One that is more real than my teachers and parents have taught me.
I will show you how to slowly peel these layers of cultural limiting belief, of the false collective mindset of scarcity that created our present-day money.
How to free yourself from the prison of money
The mindset of the permanent lack of money making us compete for it is the root cause of most of our problems in this world.
It has created the pyramidical financial systems where 1 per cent owns everything, and 99% does not. I write about this in my own publication: Spirit of Crypto.
I have decided to step out of that system, by simply thinking differently, because my heart continuously tells me there is a more beautiful world possible than the one we have created so far.
At the core of my thinking is believing. After my life lessons, my pain and journey, I have come to the realization that there is no lack in my life anymore, there is only abundance.
Well, that’s easy, your critical or cynical mind might think reading this. And quite honestly, yeah, it is. You can do this too.
There is an abundance when all I have is my last €100,-, and there is an abundance when I had my €10k.
Don’t mix the amount of money people have with how abundant they are, how abundant they feel. Many people feel rather shitty in their big palaces with security cameras and high fences.
Abundance is our birth right and in some crazy way, it is taken away from you and me. But only as long as we allow since abundance is a state of mind
You can claim it back. This is how
How to claim your abundance
The most direct way is tapping in the abundance that is you, that lives in you.
You will need some quietness, contemplation, meditation, and beauty of nature for this.
The best is to combine all of this. Find a beautiful spot in nature, and meditate there, contemplating some universal truths. Connect to the abundance of nature that lives in you too, since you are an interconnected part of nature.
Or when you are in a room, just sit down and create a nurturing atmosphere. Light some candles, ignite some incense, put on some soft quiet music.
Than tab into the reality that the core of your essence is abundance. Feel the gratitude on a deep level. For this life, for the fact that you breathe and can feel your heart. For everything that is around you, that you acquired. It can be material things, but also your friendships, your family, your talents.
Be thankful for the little gifts that each and every day brings you.
Gratefulness is the rich soil on which abundance grows
Really, there is not much more to it.
I could go on and tell you about frequencies, the law of attraction and so on, but that turns it all into a trick you can learn. For me, this question is more relevant
Can you feel the abundance flooding through the veins of your life, can you feel that true source of life? Can you tune into your heart by silencing the voices in your head and can it magically evoke a real smile on your face?
In that feeling and reality, there is no place for scarcity let alone the prison of money that our culture has built around us.
Trust life and money will flow
There is another final mind exercise I like to show you. It is my personal safe haven in times when my old conditioning takes over. O yeah, that can happen.
I can wake up sweaty with rings of fear around my heart telling me I won’t survive another day and they all come and get me and throw me in a deep dark smelly dungeon when I can’t pay my rent. Or something like that.
Then I remember myself this other truth, I tell myself this:
First of all: From all the fears that my mind created, none of them has played out in the real world. None. You can do the check for yourself. Or at least, not in the same exact manner.
Your mind can become the Alfred Hitchcock of your life producing ultimate horror scenes on demand, making you hooked and keeping you stuck in the darkness of your home cinema in your head. While outside the sun shines.
Second: Apparently I have managed to pay that same amount of money for the rent for the last 7 years I live here. So I will manage now.
Just look at the facts of life. You are alive, you probably have some food in your fridge, you have friends, a home, you can read these lines and God bless you are healthy.
OK, one layer under that comforting thought might still be some doubt.
Will that freelance job come through? How many books will I sell this month? I many people will join my guided tours? Or whatever job you do.
Then I breathe out, tune into the 2nd strongest feeling after feeling the abundance all around you and deep inside of you: Trust
Trust has brought me here
Life has proven me this far that I can fully trust the universe, he or she or it will have my back.
To trust is an exercise in looking beyond the fear, in looking what is actually real.
What reality tells me is that life really treats me well. I do work for it, I have my doubts, my fallbacks, and short-lived crisis. Throughout all of those life lessons that shaped me, I have come to some certain truths about money, life, abundance, and trust. They have become my guiding light.
The more I give to live, the more life gives me back. The more I trust life, the more life rewards me.
When you tune into your own abundance that lives deep inside of you beyond conditioned layers of fear, beyond the voice of culture that imprints you with lack, you will find an ocean of abundance.
Swim in it as much as you can, and your life slowly but surely will materialize in the same abundance, whatever that means for your unique path of life.
This blog was firs posted in my Medium account. Check it here>>